January 2011
50 posts
Forgive me tumblr for I have sinned. I murdered my boyfriend when he couldn’t move.
Dear all traffic wardens, My purse & i would be terribly grateful if you could turn a blind eye to the fiat 500 parked on Russell Street. Please could you just consider the following: 1. The entire street is either marked by resident parking or double yellows. either way I’m breaking the law. Where am i expected to park? 2. It is cold out, sometimes even below freezing, if i park on...
Old Boys Village: so, it turns out my sister wanted to film her media project in the middle of nowhere, in a broken down village. Getting there was an absolute mission. It took me sofia & tom approximately two hours to find the place, lucky we asked a crack addict for directions. I feel really safe in abandoned villages where the walls state “your mother sucks dick in hell”.
It’s always a treat when your beauty therapist is away on training, leaving you to get waxed by a total stranger. i despise small talk.
4 8 15 16 23 42: i can’t think of anything better than laying in bed with bottomless brews & jam tarts <3
“how odd.. you even have the same blood pressure” Doctor couldn’t believe how alike me & Sofia are.
“do you know what i like to do?.. do a girl from behind, tell her i got an sti & hold on… Raging bull that is”. Jamie Matthews.
Minoli’s birthday: Getting lost in country lanes.. finding Captains wife. fuck starters/main course..ordering two desserts. billions of laughs. lot’s of rose. amazing.
This week it was discovered that i am in fact the exact same colouring as a caramac bar.
this is what my life is about: double team pool at the Flora; resulting in the best couple winning, obviously. a romantic tipless date sharing bbq fajita’s in chiquitos. Double date’s to orange wednesday to re-watch the green hornet with the boys. benefit benefit benefit. Jo & La’s for minoli munch. yum. Deciding Huxley is no longer my friend after he jumped up & bit me,...
i’ve become a tumblr slacker.
Seth Rogan, seriously, your a flat out comedy genius.
Elena & Sofia’s Jonny adventure: Cardiff Bay. delicious cheesy nachos.. losing terribly on arcade games.. icecreamless vanilla milkshakes.. overpriced pix’n’mix.. & the green hornet. Billions of Giggles.
There’s nothing funnier than a shift with Saria: Saria: “is it alright to take the morning after pill twice in one week?”
it’s ridiculous how much i love my sister.
i heart paid days off: especially when it’s a saturday spent lazing around filling Barry’s bed with crummies whilst watching back to back Lost episodes.
So basically, the recommended cure for “man flu” is to stay in bed completing sega games, chowing down debs homemade fairy cakes with brews, orange wednesday, KFC’s & LOST series one.. win.
You know when it’s already awkward enough to meet your other half’s parents? Obviously Barry was gonna take advantage of this situation: Introduction: Debbie.. Elena, Elena.. Debbie.. oh.. she hates your chicken curry. Goodbye: Oh by the way Elena thinks your a hobbit.
The Notebook. the duvet was covered with a mixture of mine and sofia’s snot and tears. sexy.
Sofia: I like reading about people i know.. like Cheryl Cole n that. Barry: what like Autobiographies? Sofia: no, like magazines. Classic Sofia.
Gatekeeper. Clwb. putting aside our love hate relationship.. i have missed you. jugs of wine, “look it’s Amy Winehouse”, cheering at every familiar face that walks up the stairs, que jumping, permanent clwb ifor bach stamp on my hand, toilets lacking bog roll, sticky sambuca floors.. every person i love under one roof.. dancing like nerds. taxi’s back to Russell Street.
Qn: guess how much that bar tab you opened came to? An: £100. Shitt
daddy’s 60th birthday. the olive tree. 40 exclusive guests.. still unsure how a forty year old has over forty friends. unexpected meet the parents.. turns out the boys have a crush on my mum & my father didn’t break their knee caps.. always a good start. Bar Tab.. doubles all night. not sure i entirely understood the menu.. or i wouldn’t have stolen swapped starters with...
wisdom tooth. fuck off.
i need to think of new year resolutions & not something ridiculously impossible like “give up crisps”.
please note how stressful work was for me today. you have no clue how hard it is to keep a gag in your mouth when doing makeover on a fat rem whose skin is falling apart two inches away from your face, no matter how much moisturiser your slapping on those flakes. To make matters worse, when i questioned whether she fills in her brows, she genuinely replied with “where are your...
1.1.11 To Do List: [x] distract bf from football [x] do my hair in ten minutes flat [x] ‘big’ tesco shopping list [x] become a potato pealing pro [x] munch down Barry’s cracking roast [x] sharing ben & jerry caramel chew in bed [x] heart jonathan creek
Goodnight 2010 Goodmorning 2011.
The awkward moment when your sister orders two taxi’s & they arrive at the same time. walkabout for new years eve isit? £3 entry.. SOLD. I’m unsure whether it’s an Aussie tradition but i’m almost positive i have never entered a bathroom where there’s an African American lady sitting in the corner perving, then charging you fifty pence for a spritz of hairspray...
Thank fuck sleep-chanting/giggling/sleeping with your eyes wide open isn’t one of Michael Lawrence’s ‘51 ways to tell if you’re possessed by demons’.
“If you are sick ring the counter at 9am NOT text me at 11:30pm” whoops. There’s nothing i love more than an excuse to phone in sick & stay in bed all afternoon. The optimistic side to getting poisoned.
winterwonderland. Filled to the brim with white wine & death symptoms; we went on a late night adventure to winter wonderland. Sofia was gagging to romantically frolic with Thomas on the ice, whilst Barry & I entertained ourselves with hot chocolates & people watching. Trying to keep a straight face when grown adult men forget how to balance right in front of your face was stupidly...
The awkward moment when your sister poisons you. after months of planning sofia made us a double date “roast”.. which flat out nearly killed me.